What to do if sex ends quickly

What to do if sex ends quickly

For starters, it’s best to stop looking at the clock. And some more useful tips on what to do if you ejaculate too soon.

Why orgasm comes too fast

The reasons may be physiological or emotional. Most often to blame:

  • stress;
  • fear of premature ejaculation;
  • depression;
  • problems in a couple;
  • hormonal imbalance;
  • increased sensitivity of the penis;
  • urological diseases.

What to do in order not to worry in vain

Sometimes it is enough to rethink the problem so that it solves itself.

1. Understand that there is no norm

Sometimes it just seems to a man that an orgasm comes too quickly. In fact, everything is in order.

One of the latest major studies showed that in different couples, the duration of sex – from penetration to male orgasm – varies from 30 seconds to 45 minutes. What is the norm here?

Dr. Justin Lemiller suggests not fixing on dates at all.

It is not necessary to consider ejaculation premature on the basis of the speed of reaching orgasm alone. Moreover, setting a minimum limit for the duration of sex can cause anxiety in couples who are satisfied with their sex life and lead to problems.

It is worth talking about premature ejaculation only if sex lasts less than one minute, partners do not enjoy it, and this picture is repeated regularly.

2. Don’t overestimate the orgasm

Orgasm plays a key role in modern sexual culture. He is expected as a mandatory element of the program, most often meaning the end of sex. In fact, no one bothers you to continue using your hands, lips, sex toys.

3. Stop Believing Sex Myths

Sex is a constant test of compliance with the mythical standards of a “real man”. Such lists usually include a stone erection that does not decrease for hours, an XXL size penis, the ability to perform frictions for at least an hour in a row. All these things look good in porn , but in reality they are not at all necessary, and often even painful for partners.

4. Talk to your partner

Important is not only the question of how long not to finish, but also the question of why. If the task is to give pleasure to a woman, then it is better to ask what she wants, what is missing. Do long frictions bring pleasure to you and your partner, or do they only provoke chafing and fatigue? The main thing is that the participants were pleased.

In good sex, you don’t have to achieve anything. It is enough just to relax and enjoy the process, regardless of whether there are orgasms or not.

What to do before sex, so as not to finish for a long time

These proven methods will not harm your health and prolong sexual intercourse.

1. Try to masturbate longer

Many men try to reach orgasm as quickly as possible during masturbation (perhaps this habit has remained since adolescence, when you had to rush so as not to catch the eye of your parents). But when you get used to rushing off, it extends to sex as well.

To change the course of events, you need to delay the final as long as possible. Think about how long you want to last with a partner, and try to masturbate for the same amount.

2. Give up porn for a while

Pornography is part of a healthy sex life, but many people don’t think about using it to masturbate. Porn makes it difficult to feel a connection with your body, because all the attention is focused on the screen. As a result, it is difficult to understand at what stage of the process you are, to what level the excitement has reached. And orgasm comes unexpectedly.

To learn to understand yourself, try masturbating without porn.

3. Find the point of no return

When you seek orgasm, most likely you are not paying attention to what is happening in the body in the moment before it. It is called the point of no return.

If you do not learn to recognize the point of no return, orgasm will take you by surprise when having sex with a partner.

4. Vary your arousal while masturbating

If you are used to expecting a quick effect from masturbation, then most likely bring yourself to orgasm consistently. And you act the same way during sex.

To change the situation, sexologist Vanessa Marin suggests using teasing techniques in masturbation.

Imagine being aroused on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is orgasm and 1 is almost no arousal. Get aroused to 6, then back to 3, go up to 7, go down to 5, get to 6 and 2. After that, increase the arousal again, now to 8. Keep changing the intensity.

It is not necessary to use this particular order, the main thing is to learn how to control the process.

5. Rock your pelvic floor

A strong pelvic floor will help to significantly improve men’s health and sex life. And this will contribute to Kegel exercises . They will be useful for those who have problems with erection and ejaculation, and those who do not have complaints about intimate success.

First, feel your pelvic muscles. To get an idea of ​​where they are, try stopping urination or squeezing your anus to prevent gas. Tighten the muscles found for 3 seconds, and then relax. Do at least three sets of 10 repetitions every day.

6. Masturbate before sex

If you know a date is going to end in sex, try to prepare for it. Masturbation an hour or two before intercourse helps  delay ejaculation.

What to do during sex so as not to finish for a long time

These scientifically based methods will help directly in the process.

1. Use anesthetic lubricants

To reduce the sensitivity of nerve endings, special creams, gels and sprays are produced that contain anesthetics. There are products based on lidocaine, benzocaine or prilocaine, designed specifically for sex. But pharmacy preparations for “freezing” and anesthesia should not be tried, because an erection may disappear from them.

2. Wear a condom

Condoms —especially thick ones— desensitize the penis and help delay ejaculation. You can also choose cooling varieties or add a lubricant with lidocaine or benzocaine.

3. Breathe properly

Slow deep breaths can disable the ejaculatory reflex, the automatic process during which ejaculation occurs.

4. Think about abstract topics

You can delay the finale for a while if you think about some boring things during sex: count to yourself, remember poetry. Someone advises to imagine something vile and disgusting, but an erection can suffer in this way.

5. Focus on your partner’s pleasure

It is much more useful to fix, analyze, remember the partner’s reactions . This will distract you from your own orgasm and help you become a super lover.

6. Learn to slow down ejaculation

As soon as the urge to orgasm arises, for a few seconds, press on the point where the head connects to the shaft until this sensation passes. When it appears again, you need to repeat it again. Over time, after such training, it will become much easier to restrain yourself.

7. Forget about monotony

Alternate degrees of arousal in the same way as with masturbation. Change the speed of your movements. For example, after two fast frictions, do five slow ones and try to maintain the rhythm for as long as possible.

Also try changing the depth and sharpness of the penetration.

8. Take breaks

Intense movements bring orgasm closer. When you feel that the arousal is too great, just stop stimulating the penis. During the pause, caress your partner with your hands and orally.

9. Use fingers, tongue and sex toys

Sex is not only frictions. For many practices, a penis is not required. You can use other resources of the body: fingers, tongue, lips. Well, or connect sex toys.

What to do if all this does not help

There is only one option: the help of medicine.

1. See a doctor

Sometimes premature ejaculation is  a consequence of hormonal disruptions, inflammation and other physiological problems that can be solved with the help of medicine. If you regularly cum in less than a minute, can’t delay orgasm, are not satisfied with the quality of sex, then you should contact a urologist. He will examine you, if necessary, prescribe tests or refer you to another specialist.

2. Talk to your doctor about medication

Some medicines can delay ejaculation. In their instructions there are no such instructions for use, rather it is a side effect. However, the urologist may advise taking :

  • antidepressants;
  • some painkillers;
  • remedies for erectile dysfunction .

These are quite serious medications with a lot of side effects. Therefore, you cannot assign them to yourself. Take them only on the advice of a doctor.

3. Consider surgery

If all else fails, you can talk to a urologist about surgery to reduce sensation. On the back of the trunk, a part of the nerves leading to the head is dissected . Due to this, the duration of sexual intercourse increases markedly.

What you don’t need to do in order not to finish for a long time

There are things that not only will not bring the desired result, but can also lead to erectile dysfunction or other health problems. Here’s what not to do.

1. Use alcohol and illegal substances

Alcohol abuse interferes not only with ejaculation, but also with erection, and also reduces the production of testosterone in men.

The same situation is with some prohibited substances. For example, opioids do cause difficulty in achieving orgasm, but they reduce desire and erectile function.

Therefore, the advice to drink before a date is rather harmful, because the member may not get up at all, and the problem with the duration will fade into the background. And alcohol and drugs cause difficulties in other areas of life, for example, worsen relationships with a partner. Therefore, sex may not reach.

2. Trust questionable promises

Dubious sites are full of advertising banners promising unimaginable sexual success. Usually they advertise different supplements. The same is often traded in resort markets in exotic countries.

But it’s not worth buying. At best, you will give money for a dummy, and at worst, you will cause irreparable harm to your health. Miracle remedies often have untested, dangerous ingredients or prescription drugs added to them. For example, Spanish fly can cause kidney damage and gastrointestinal bleeding. And if there is sildenafil in the jar, which, in general, is a serious remedy, the core may have an attack.

3. Use folk methods

Some sites suggest rubbing peppermint juice on the genitals, eating currant leaves, and tying the penis with string. Do not do it this way. The effectiveness of these methods has not been proven, but it is quite possible to harm yourself.

4. Taking medication without consulting a doctor

Self-medication is harmful. Medicines have a lot of side effects.

5. Worry

Stress due to fear of failure only exacerbates the problem and can eventually lead to erectile dysfunction. Sometimes it is enough to reconsider your attitude to the process so that the tension subsides and the pleasure lasts longer. Moreover, the quality of sex is not measured by the duration of the frictions, and you can always try something else or arrange a second round after the break.